


I Promise, I'll Let You Go

by taeminki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 07:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18148904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: One last night spent with Hyunjin taught Changbin how to live without him.





	I Promise, I'll Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> ♪ one last time -ariana grande

_I heard you moved on_  
taptap, taptaptaptaptap, taptaptap, taptaptaptaptap, tap

 _are you with someone new?_  
tap, taptaptap, taptaptaptaptaptaptap, taptaptaptap, taptaptap, taptaptap

 _I miss you_  
taptaptap

_us_

Changbin stared at the message: _I miss us_. He looked at the time at the top of his screen. 2:08. He sent the message before he could regret it.

 

**\- - - time passed: 22 hours, 42 minutes - - -**

 

Changbin stared at the message: _I've wondered if we could try again_. He looked at the time at the top of his screen. 00:50. He called Hwang Hyunjin.

"It's almost one o'clock in the morning, Changbin."

"You're up. You texted me."

Changbin sat up, his cold feet meeting the colder ground. His window was open; he could hear the soft breeze leaking into his bedroom. He wanted his blanket, but that would requite him to set his phone aside, and rustle around with the soft fabric, and Hyunjin was finally speaking after an eternity of silence.

"I'm starting to regret doing so."

"Don't hang up." Changbin rushed. _Desperate. He was so desperate_.

"Give me a reason not to." Hyunjin said. _A reason, find a reason_.

"I want to see you." Changbin said. Hyunjin sighed heavily, but Changbin didn't let him go quite yet, "Please, Hyunjin. I-I know I'm about to lose you forever, I just. . . I want to see you one more time. _Please_."

"Do you know about him?" Hyunjin asked. Changbin had hoped those rumors were just that, rumors. He fought against an audible tremor in his voice, "Y-your new partner?"

"He's sleeping in my bed, Changbin." Hyunjin said. "Just how shitty would it be of me, if I left him here to see you?"

 _Very. It would be very shitty_. "Blame me-- the persistent ex-boyfriend. Please, Hyunjin. I _have_  to see you."

"I don't owe you anything." Hyunjin said. Changbin knew, by the drop of his volume and the waver of his voice, that he was going to give in. Changbin _knew_  Hyunjin.

"You don't."

It only took five silent seconds for Hyunjin to tell Changbin: "Meet me outside." Changbin had predicted seven.

 

**\- - - time passed: 8 minutes - - -**

 

Hyunjin had a blanket over his shoulders, a cup of hot chocolate warming his palms. Changbin sat on his porch-- right next to the boy he was going to lose forever.

"What's his name?"

"Jisung."

"Could I see a picture of him?"

Hyunjin held his hot chocolate over Changbin's hands as he dug for his phone. He told Changbin, "Drink it," and his blanket fell off of his shoulders as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Changbin had just taken the hot chocolate from him. He settled the cup between his thighs-- quickly-- and grabbed for the blanket, settling it over Hyunjin's shoulders. In the meantime, Hyunjin found a picture of Jisung for Changbin.

Changbin hated him. "His hair's cool."

"I helped him dye it." Hyunjin said. Changbin nodded, pulling a fake smile onto his lips, "What else do you two do together?"

Hyunjin finally looked at Changbin. For a moment, Changbin didn't look back, but he would hate himself for forever and a day if he missed this opportunity to look Hyunjin in the eye.

"What?" Changbin asked when he looked at Hyunjin. His voice broke: "You used to tell me everything."

"Anything I'm going to tell you about Jisung will hurt you." Hyunjin said. Changbin shrugged, "So? You deserve to hurt me. Tell me about him."

The hot chocolate was cold when Hyunjin finished, and Changbin hadn't taken a sip of it. Hyunjin probably wasn't even fully finished, but tears began to roll down Changbin's cheeks, and Hyunjin stopped talking about Jisung.

"I knew it."

"It's fine. I'm fine. Keep going-- he eats blueberry muffins a lot?"

"Changbin--"

"I fucking hate those things. But it's fine-- I'm fine. Does he like blueberry?" Changbin scoffed, "I fucking _hate_  blueberries--"

"Changbin, you should go home."

"Wait-- I'm sorry-- I'll stop talking about blueberries."

"Changbin, it's not that." Hyunjin sighed. He stood, blanket and all, and stooped to take the cup out of Changbin's hands. Changbin stood, too-- was on his feet by the time Hyunjin continued speaking, "What are we doing, Changbin? It's two in the morning-- I'm making you cry-- my _boyfriend_  is alone in my bed. What the hell are we doing?"

The answer floated around Changbin's head for a moment. Changbin didn't want to say it, but he had no choice, did he? Changbin had been listening to Hyunjin-- really, he had. Jisung was so good for him.

"We're saying goodbye."

Hyunjin dropped the (no longer) hot chocolate. The cup shattered, and both of them yelled, jumping away from the flying pieces of glass. Then, they laughed. They laughed themselves to tears, and somewhere in the midst, Hyunjin said, "Shut-- shut-- up, my-- boyfriend-- is going to hear us," but they just kept laughing.

"Go home, Changbin." Hyunjin said; he sounded fond, like everything that happened that night would be remembered-- like _Changbin_  would be remembered, and in a good light. Changbin could live with that.

"You don't want help cleaning up?" Changbin asked. Hyunjin shook his head-- "Go home. Get some sleep. I know you have work early."

Hyunjin hugged Changbin before any more words could be exchanged, and Changbin decided, in holding Hyunjin one last time, that no more words were needed. This was a good note to end on. This is how they _should_  part; this was the best goodbye they were going to get.

What Changbin did that night was selfish. He should have found another way to live without Hyunjin. He wasn't going to live a regretful life, though, and decided, when he climbed into bed and set his alarm for three hours, that he would forgive himself.


End file.
